I recently watched a television series and I was perplexed about this situation with a female who cheated on her partner. She slept with another man but then she came clean about it. Let me be clear, cheating is NOT ok. Deceiving someone who loves you is NOT ok.
My thing is, when men cheat, we are more likely to forgive them. Why is it men’s egos are so destroyed that they cannot even consider forgiveness. No one desires being cheated on, I get that. Women feel just as deceived as men do when they have been betrayed in that way, yet men have a harder time forgiving. However, if we are going to be real, let’s be real, women forgive men far quicker than men do.
Is it that they can’t take it but can dish it? Or is it more? Which leads us to this topic…
My thoughts are since a lot of men are taught not to be emotional, they do not truly learn how to communicate about their emotions. This means when they start to feel hurt emotionally, they are confused and do not know how to handle this confusion. Now, we as women, as emotional beings, we are willing to cry, scream, and shout about how hurt we are, and what the betrayal has done to them physically, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually.
Instead of communicating, men are more likely to leave. I think they can’t express their feelings because they are taught having feelings are a weakness. I am not saying men do not love, because I actually think when men truly love, they can love just as harder or harder than women.
How can we break this cycle? Is it cycle that needs to be, shall we say, critiqued in some way?
No, I do not want my husband crying on a regular basis, it is just not masculine. At the same time, men need to know how to handle hurt and know how to communicate past an issue. Yet, they are taught that it is a weakness to “feel”.
men need to know how to handle hurt and know how to communicate past an issue.
I personally, think this is a part of the problem with men who have violent tendencies. But I am digressing; that is a topic for another day. Instead of showing a “weakness” in being hurt, it is displayed in anger. This is a part of their teaching, that men need to be tough. Therefore, when it is time to “feel”, the response is not to show hurt, but to show toughness.
Are we willing to break this cycle? Can we teach our sons how to deal with anger or hurt? Men, am I right or wrong?
What’s your take?
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The Fallible Life 