We all want our princess or prince-charming, however, that dream come true can become your worst nightmare, if you are not investing time and effort into making it healthy relationship.
YES! I said time and effort!
When you are looking for a promotion at work, you go the extra mile and even help take on other duties sometimes to show that you want the best for the company and that you are a team-player. It’s the same thing with a relationship. In the past, my husband would say to me that “you don’t talk to your boss like that, so don’t talk to me like that”. At the time, it fell on deaf ears because I was in one those “tudes” that I am sure you all can relate to.
Go The Extra Mile and Be a Team-Player!
As you all know, relationships have ups and downs. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Disagreements arise and sometimes they lead to tension in the relationship. But it doesn’t mean that the relationship isn’t strong.
There are some traits that help identify relationships that are in a healthy place. Let me be clear that even these traits do not define a relationship that can’t seek improvement. There are always ways that we can improve ourselves individually and as a companion. After all, we are all fallible human beings (hence the name, “The Fallible Life” J).
Seek to be better by improving yourself individually and as a companion.
So let’s discuss some of those healthy traits that, if we are not displaying, we should be in order to help the healthiness and strength of our relationships and increase the longevity of it.
Let’s jump right in!
- You enjoy spending time with each other. You would be amazed by how many relationships don’t have the key word “relations”. You should be able to have a great time with your partner whether you are with friends or not. It’s always fun to have those couple nights and be able to experience life with other couples. But you should be able to be only with your partner and be able to laugh and talk about anything together. This helps strengthen your friendship, which is arguably, the most important factor in a relationship.
- You have trust and feel secure. In a healthy relationship, we should be able to trust our partners whether we are near them or not. You should feel secure that your partner will have your best interest at heart and would not do anything to jeopardize the relationship. Trust a huge factor in a relationship. Sometimes that trust gets broken. However, when you’ve decided to forgive for what ever transgression may have caused the distrust, that partner should do everything possible to rebuild the security of their partner.
- You discuss and inspire greatness in each other. We all have goals and aspirations. These are things that should be able to be discussed with your partner. Then, these aspirations should be something that you can work on together and help each other to achieve, after all, they are called a “partner” for a reason. If you are not growing together, then you are growing apart, and this can be detrimental and can lead to the demise of a relationship.
- You respect each other’s opinions. As we all know, we ALL have an opinion. My opinion may be completely opposite of your opinion. But just because my opinion is different, doesn’t invalidate your opinion. Respect is another huge factor in a relationship. Sometimes, you will need to understand their view, even if it differs from yours. We were all raised differently and have went through different circumstances in life. These experiences mold us into who we are. Respect their experiences and their views.
- You understand 50/50 isn’t always 50/50. In relationships, sometimes we have to pick up the other person’s slack. But in the same sense, that other person should some time take on your burdens so that the relationship is not one-sided. No one person should have to carry the burden of the life that you have built together. I may give 80 today and you may give 80 tomorrow. We are a team right!?
- Your partner is your safe place. When we have a rough day or have things going on in life, not necessarily around the relationship, your partner should be someone you feel safe to confide in. You should feel that, if no one else, your partner is the one person that you can talk to and not be judged by. Your partner should be the safe zone where you can lay your burdens down, and they will help lift you up. Sometimes that safe place is also where we get a reality check. We may be the one in a situation that is wrong as two left shoes, and your partner should be able to tell you that, respectfully, and you know that it comes from a good place.
- You show appreciation and love in actions, not just words. You can say, “I appreciate you” and “I love you”, all day long. But if your actions speak different, then the words are just words. For example, if your partner cooks all week long, you can show appreciation by saying, “I’ll cook dinner tonight, babe”, or “let me treat you to dinner”. Now this isn’t all about cooking dinner! Haha! But you really should make sure that your partner knows and sees your effort and wants to do something to show you appreciation, no matter how small the act. Sometimes a small act can go a long way.
If you see some traits that you know that you are not exhibiting, start!
Start today, one small act at time!
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Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash
Photo by Mikayla Herrick on Unsplash
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The Fallible Life 